Original Offensive Crayons

Aren’t you tired of coloring with “blue” or “burnt sienna?” Us, too.  What you need are Offensive Crayons. Gone are the safe colors like “goldenrod” or “violet.” Now we have “Suspicious Cold Sore Red” and “Privilege” (exclusively for our Caucasian buyers, of course). Say goodbye to your politically correct old color box and welcome this family of blunt, direct and irreverent shades.

• 24 Assorted Color(s), or at least 22-23 different, since we used the cheapest labor we could find
• Non toxic, gluten free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them “organic”
• Carefully constructed by, more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China
• OUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE (that they’re actually crayons – no promises for anything else)
• Safe for ages 17+ (or whatever, we don’t care)